Winston Peters says he 'thoroughly deserved' smackings as a child: What should parent's do now instead?

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• Wellbeing

Smacking a child is outlawed in New Zealand, but parents should still dole out punishment that is fair and firm.

Serena SolomonLifestyle journalist

23 October 2026

6 min read

Serena SolomonLifestyle journalist

23 October 2026

6 min read

Caption:A 2017 study found that about one-third of New Zealand parents smacked their children for discipline.Photo credit:Getty Images

“As a child, I got a few smackings.

“And guess what? I thoroughly deserved them. No bones about it.”​

Peters, 81, went into his story archive when reporters questioned him after the debate, retelling how his father gave him and his brother a hiding when they were caught horse racing on a beach at night.

“... in the middle of the race, he comes rushing out of the trees, and all of a sudden we're walking home having rather sore legs, and then we had to walk to school for the next month.”

Why smacking doesn’t work

However, according to Dr Melanie Woodfield, a psychologist from the University of Auckland, smacking is not an effective punishment and can damage the child-parent relationship.

“The reason tends to be that smacking can result in short-term compliance, very short-term behaviour change, but it’s not long-lasting.”

Woodfield is working on a review of effective behaviour management programmes for extra challenging child behaviours, analysing what the international programmes recommend and don’t recommend. The most common inadvisable parenting technique was smacking.

For example, a 2026 UK study examining data from 19,000 children found a connection between physical punishment from parents and lower exam results at school. Children who were physically punished were more likely to engage in bullying.

“It’s also about role modelling...

“Children learn from what we do, not just what we say, as any parent will be able to attest.”

However, that doesn’t mean children should go unpunished, says O’Neil.

“The absence of smacking doesn’t mean the absence of helpful, fair, firm limits.”

What can you do besides smacking?

Woodfield says there are dozens of evidence-based discipline options for parents that don’t involve physical force.

However, that’s provided it is done in a calm, predictable way.

“The child knows ahead of time what's happening. It should be calm and predictable and consistent and used kind of consistently within one parent's approach, but also across both parents.”

Linking consequences to the original offence is also effective, says Woodfield. In the example Peters gave, his dad could have restricted the kids’ freedom for a few days with an early curfew or banned horse riding for a week.

Parents can also help prevent bad behaviour before it happens with clear instructions, says Woodfield.

“... if an adult in his life had said ‘Hey Winston, you guys can go out to the bush or out on the horses or whatever, but I need you back by this time, this is why and looking forward to seeing you’ then they might not have needed the smack.”

Younger children especially can have trouble following more than one rule or instruction, adds Woodfield. So instead of telling a five-year-old to clean their room, they need a parent to give them step-by-step guidance.

Parents should also agree on discipline options ahead of time, so they don’t make a decision in the heat of the moment, says Woodfield. ​They can also brainstorm with their children on how how to motivate a behavioural change. And yes, reward charts can work, says Woodfield.

What to do if you have smacked your kid?

Parents will inevitably do or say something they regret, says O’Neil. Whether that’s smacking or something else, parents should take ownership of their own behaviour, apologise and do something to repair the relationship.

“For some people, it might be time together. For others, it might be that you’ve apologised and then there’s a hug.

“Different children will need that expressed in different ways.”

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