Auckland man who murdered his wife in front of their children sentenced

Warning: This story discusses family violence and may be distressing for some readers

A man told his estranged wife to move their toddler from her arms and yell for help before he stabbed her to death in front of their children.

Afterwards, he took the children to his sister's place, apologised to the oldest, and handed himself in to the police.

The man told the High Court at Auckland this week that, in November last year, he "snapped" when she talked about moving away with the children.

He and the victim both have name suppression to protect their children.

At his sentencing, the woman's mother said there was a pain inside her that she couldn't put into words; one that only a mother who had lost a child could understand.

Her daughter was left bleeding and crying out for help while her two young children watched, frozen in fear, she said.

"That is what I'm swallowing ... her husband left her to bleed to death."

According to the summary of facts, the couple had separated and lived separately.

They were together at the woman's Auckland home when an argument began. The man dragged her to the floor and stomped barefoot on her stomach, arms and hands three to four times.

Then he went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife.

From the floor, the mother looked at her oldest child and signalled to call the police.

She then backed away from her husband, propping herself up against a wall and begging him to stop.

Her toddler walked over, and she took the child in her arms.

The man told her to move the child and call out for help.

She screamed for help while on her hands and knees. The man then dragged her back to the ground, hit her and stabbed her twice, in the shoulder and back.

He drove the children to his sister's place and, an hour or so later, handed himself in to police, telling them he'd stabbed his wife and was unsure whether she was alive.

'Bright-eyed' and loving

The woman's mother told the court no parent should have to say goodbye to their child.

She said she had watched her daughter grow from a "bright-eyed little girl" into a remarkable woman who carried herself with dignity and self-confidence.

The mother spoke of tears and grief, but also gratitude for the love her daughter gave "so freely" to her family and children.

She turned to the man in the dock and told him she forgave him, though it was not easy.

The victim's sister told the court she cried not only because she missed her sister but because what happened to her was so "unfair".

"I was angry that she had been deprived of her dreams and the opportunity to spend time with the people she loved."

She wished she could have done something to protect her sister or had noticed that something was wrong.

Everyone in their family dealt with grief differently, the sister said, making communication difficult.

"Some people talk about the pain openly while others keep the hurt inside."

'Uncontrollable rage'

Crown lawyer Claire Paterson acknowledged the family's "extremely moving" statements.

She said the taking of the victim's life was an unimaginable tragedy for the whole family, particularly her two children, who had effectively lost "both parents" as a result.

Paterson said the husband had fallen into a fit of "uncontrollable rage", making his wife call out for help before killing her.

She accepted that a sentence reduction for the man's guilty plea was appropriate, as it saved the family from a trial and, particularly, his older child from having to give evidence in court.

What Paterson opposed, however, was a reduction for the effect the man's imprisonment would have on his children.

Allowing the children's suffering to operate for the benefit of the "very person" who had caused it would be an "absolute affront", she said.

The man's lawyer, Adam Couchman, said his client was in a "blind rage" with "tunnel vision" for his victim and was not focused on his children.

His client's actions afterwards, as described by his sister, including apologising to his son and putting his affairs in order, "softened" the level of brutality, Couchman said.

The man had written a "short" letter of remorse, which Couchman read aloud.

The man wrote that he replayed the events of that day over and over in his head, trying to figure out how he could have handled things better, but it was too late.

"If I had the powers to change the past, I would do it in a heartbeat."

Couchman said the children had not lost both of their parents, and that his client was still in their lives.

Justice Laura O'Gorman noted the man had told the writer of a pre-sentence report that he'd had a relatively happy upbringing.

In the report, he described the breakdown of the marriage and how he had struggled to accept their separation, and "snapped" when his wife talked about moving overseas, the judge said.

She quoted him as saying that, once he regained his composure, he regretted his actions, both for the loss of life and the impact on their children.

The judge agreed with Couchman that the man's actions after the "brutal" and "callous" murder were aimed at protecting the children.

While he had not sought immediate medical help, other, later aspects of his behaviour were not "highly" callous.

Still recognising the "inexcusable" harm inflicted, Justice O'Gorman reduced the man's sentence by two years to reflect the lack of premeditation, his remorse and the fact he handed himself in to police.

She also noted that a shorter sentence might improve the quality of the man's relationship with his children after his release.

For the charge of murder, he was sentenced to life with a minimum period of imprisonment of 13 years.

Where to get help:

• Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843.
• It's Not OK 0800 456 450.
• Shine: 0508 744 633.
• Victim Support: 0800 842 846.
• HELP Call 24/7 (Auckland): 09 623 1700, (Wellington): 04 801 6655.
• The National Network of Family Violence Services NZ has information on specialist family violence agencies.

If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

- This story was first published on the NZ Herald