November 4, 2026 — 9:00pm

“One of the downsides of having a hyphenated surname (C8) is that you have to be ever alert to PA announcements,” writes Michael Edward Bennett-Williams of St Ives. “At airports I have been called Mr Michael Bennett, Michael Williams, Edward Bennett, William Bennett and Michael Hyphen.”

“Talking about hyphenated surnames, my daughter still regrets the missed opportunity my wife (nee Partridge) and I had to amuse her,” adds Tony Hunt of Gordon.

“The Lady Janice of Austinmer was spot-on with her biscuits and liquorice shrinkflation lamentation (C8),” reckons the euphuistic Ron Polglaze of Hazelbrook. “And can we also ask the bakers at Vita-Weats to return the holes to their proper size, please? Worm sandwiches were one of the great joys of childhood. Squeezing my lunch today just cracked the biscuits because the holes are too small.”

“Further to the biscuit discussion, a friend used to use a packet of Tim Tams to teach prime numbers since there were 11 in the pack and no matter how the students in small groups tried to share them evenly it was impossible,” says Adela Parkes of Boat Harbour. “I’ve no idea how many are now in a pack as I don’t like them (this is un-Australian, I know). PS: Ginger Nut biscuits are still different in Queensland and NSW, as I discovered on a recent road trip.”

“I cannot compete with Geoff Goodfellow (C8) on what is raised, hiked, elevated and so on,” admits Laurie Wilson of Allambie Heights. “In fact, I would have to say that he has upped the ante.”

“When Sydney property was affordable, a 100-basis-point rise was a hike. Avarice insanity frames any increases as yikes!” offers Les Shearman of Darlington.

Alynn Pratt of Grenfell says, “By the reaction of his dad, I guess David Atherfold was ‘reflecting’ on the news when he brought his tabloid (C8) home!” Ian Eldershaw of West Pymble has other compact issues: “I was once sitting in a café when a man walked in. ‘Hey Cheryl, got any Heralds left?′
‘No, love, but there are some Telegraphs there.’ The man replied ‘Nah, I was looking for something to read’, and walked out.”

“I, too, used to buy a convenient paper to read on the train in 1973 until my very smart boss told me I should get ‘a real newspaper’,” recalls Dennis Fardy of Warriewood. “He was right.” But not that right.

Column8@smh.com.au

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Source: The Age

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Country
🇦🇺 AU
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