We're supposed to fail on the outside': Life after Gloriavale

When Rosanna Overcomer fled Gloriavale, a strict Christian community on the West Coast, the car engine overheated.

She thought it was a bad omen, she tells RNZ’s Sunday Morning.

“The engine cooked itself. And so, my first thoughts were actually, oh, this is a sign from God that we've done the wrong thing.”

Overcomer and her husband Elijah walked away from the controversial and secretive religious sect with their young children in 2013. She had spent the first 27 years of her life there.

Elijah was had been expelled from Gloriavale when he confronted Hopeful Christian about his criminal conviction for sexual abuse.

Rosie and their three children were then essentially kidnapped and put into hiding in a remote location where she wasn’t allowed contact with her husband Elijah or the outside world for six weeks.

Beyond the Gates of Gloriavale is her memoir about what it takes to endure life in Gloriavale - and what it costs to leave.

In the first few days after leaving, she and her children settled first with Elijah’s brother, she remembers.

“Word got around pretty quickly. The next day, Elijah's sister came around, and then his auntie and uncle came around.

“I remember it was Easter weekend, because they brought around Easter eggs for the kids. And I was so scared that the kids were going to get like, I don't know, evil spirits or something, because they were eating Easter eggs.”

Gloriavale taught that Christmas and Easter were pagan celebrations, she says.

She began to experience things on the outside that most teenagers would take for granted, she says – like getting her hair cut.

Gloriavale had women keep their hair long, down to the waist, she says.

“It wasn't my hair that was down past my waist that got me to heaven, you know. And that was, that was actually probably the most freeing experience I had out of any.”

It felt like a weight had come off her in more ways than one, she says.

“Walking down the street, and not only did my head feel light physically, my whole head internally felt lighter, because I didn't have, I guess, the weight of what men had told me I should look like, put on me.

“I probably looked like an absolute idiot walking down the street, because I felt like I was visibly shaking my head, like just feeling the wind through my hair.”

Other darker, legacies of her life in Gloriavale lingered. She would habitually keep her back to the wall in crowds so no one could approach her from behind, she says.

A massage therapist told her she had the worst body he'd ever worked on.

“I remember at the time him saying that my muscles were just so shortened and tight, that that's why I couldn't move well, but I think it just comes from the same as putting my back up against a wall.

“It's years of just being clenched and not knowing, kind of being prepared, I guess, physically and mentally prepared for someone to approach you from behind.”

She and her husband Elijah now live in South Canterbury with their six children where they have established a life as successful sharemilkers.

There’s satisfaction in proving Gloriavale wrong, she says.

“Because we're supposed to fail on the outside. We're supposed to have terrible, shocking lives and our kids are all drug addicts and drunk kids and don't have jobs.”

Life is good now, she says, 13 years after starting again.

“My kids are awesome. I'm so proud of them. I love seeing them get to live. I love telling myself what to do, I don't like getting told what to do. I love being able to drive.

“There's so many things that I'm just incredibly grateful for, and I could have never in my wildest dreams imagined the life that I live now.”

Get weekly Life highlights

Coverage

Our editors pick the best of food, arts, culture and lifestyle. Delivered straight to your inbox every Saturday.