Poverty almost crushed my nursing dream – Octogenarian

After overcoming financial hardship to train as a nurse, Mrs Felicia Ilesanmi left the profession to raise her family before starting a new career in childcare. Now 80, she speaks with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI about her journey, the decisions that shaped her life and the lessons she has learnt along the way

What was your childhood like?

I was born on October 26, 1946, in Oko Oba, Agege, Lagos, to James Omotosho and his wife, Comfort Omotosho, both of blessed memory. My parents were from Erinmope, Ekiti State.

My father was a farmer. After marrying my mother, he left Erinmope and settled at the Oko Oba Farm Settlement in Agege because the family was concerned that my mother was not getting pregnant.

They later encountered a Cherubim and Seraphim church, where they were encouraged to rely on prayers and holy water rather than traditional medication. To the glory of God, my mother became pregnant and gave birth to me without taking any medication throughout her pregnancy. My parents eventually returned to Ekiti State, where I spent part of my childhood.

What schools did you attend?

I started primary school at St Peter’s School, Osegere, Ibadan, in January 1953 before moving to Erinmope, where I completed my primary education at St John’s Primary School in 1959. I obtained a Grade One result and was the best-performing pupil in my town.

Unfortunately, my family could not afford to send me to secondary school immediately. It was a very difficult period. Nigeria was approaching independence in 1960, and schoolchildren were excited about the celebrations and activities.

My parents had separated, and I lived with my father, who later married another woman. While other children enjoyed the excitement surrounding Nigeria’s independence, I felt neglected and had to work on farms and sell produce to earn a living. Despite the hardship, I remained determined to continue my education.

In 1961, a man named Mr Johnson Ajiboye helped me secure admission to Hardin Memorial Secondary Modern School in Ado-Ekiti. Because my parents had separated, I lived with different families, some of whom struggled to feed themselves. I often had to cook for myself and manage whatever provisions I had.

When the family I was staying with relocated, I moved closer to my hometown and continued my education at Obashola Memorial Secondary Modern School in Ushi, Ekiti State. I completed my secondary modern education in 1963.

Those experiences taught me to be independent. By the age of 14, I was already cooking for myself and taking on small jobs to earn money. Years later, I fulfilled my ambition of becoming a nurse.

How did you become a nurse?

I had a strong desire to become a nurse, so after completing my secondary modern education, I took the entrance examination for a Grade One midwifery course at Ile Abiye Anglican Hospital. I began my training in 1964 and completed it in 1966.

The mission hospital allocated places to different Anglican dioceses, and I was the only person from my diocese invited for an interview.

However, I had no money to cover my initial expenses. I borrowed from the church and repaid it with the pocket allowance I received during training.

After working at Ile Abiye Hospital for two years, I decided to pursue general nursing. Unfortunately, my secondary modern school certificate was no longer accepted for admission, so I needed additional qualifications.

I enrolled in correspondence courses through Rapid Results College, London, and prepared for the General Certificate of Education examinations of the University of London. I studied English, human anatomy, physiology and hygiene, among other subjects, using my earnings to pay for the courses and examinations.

I sat for the GCE examinations in 1968 and took the nursing entrance examination in early 1969. I passed and gained admission to Wesley Guild Hospital in Ilesa, where I completed my General Nursing Training in 1972.

I was determined because I loved nursing and wanted to advance in the profession. Having experienced the frustration of being unable to continue my education because of financial difficulties, I was unwilling to let another obstacle stop me.

What was your most memorable experience during nursing training?

During my practical examination, known as the hospital final, examiners appointed by the Nursing Council assessed us on the wards without informing us beforehand when they would observe us.

On one occasion, I was administering medication in the children’s ward when an examiner approached me from behind and asked me a question. I became frightened, my mind went blank and I could not answer. I believe the question was about multivitamins.

The examiner was annoyed and insisted that I should fail. However, another member of staff defended me, pointing out that my academic records showed consistently good performance. She argued that I should not fail because of one incident.

The matter was eventually referred to the Nursing Council, which arranged another examination for me. I believe it was God’s grace and mercy that saved me from a major setback. The experience taught me that one difficult moment should not define a person’s overall performance.

I enjoyed my nursing career for several years before eventually leaving the profession after getting married.

How did you meet your husband, and why did you eventually leave nursing?

I met Femi in 1965 while on annual leave during my midwifery training. He was also on leave and had come to visit his friend, Mr Dare Oso.

He travelled to Canada in 1967 to pursue his university education. Our relationship experienced a break during that period, but we reunited after he returned with a degree in surveying from the University of New Brunswick in Canada.

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We got married on December 23, 1972, and our union was blessed with children and grandchildren.

I was employed by the then Western State Government and posted to State Hospital, Oyo, in 1973. I worked there until September 1976, when my husband and I relocated to Ilorin.

He later established his private practice, FICON Limited, after leaving Kwara State Polytechnic, where he headed the Department of Surveying and Town Planning.

In December 1978, while working at Olalomi Hospital, I resigned from nursing at my husband’s request so I could devote more time to raising our growing family.

Although some of my friends became chief nursing officers and attained other professional positions, I accepted that I had chosen a different path. I did not regret my decision. I remained productive through baking, trading and supplying goods to supermarkets.

My husband was supportive, faithful and a provider. He passed away on May 16, 2017. Although his death was painful, I remain grateful to God for the family we built together.

What did you do after leaving nursing to concentrate on your family?

My passion for caring for children never left me. In August 1982, I established Anchor Day Care Centre, which I ran for five years. During that period, I became interested in Montessori education after reading about it in a newspaper.

There was no online learning as we have today, so I wrote to the London Montessori Centre, which sent me training materials, books and lectures by post. I completed the course through correspondence.

My work with children also led to my appointment to the state government’s Child Welfare Committee. Some parents trusted me so much that they were comfortable leaving their children with me even when they travelled.

However, my husband wanted me to spend more time with our children, so I stopped running the centre in 1987. By 2006, as I approached my 60th birthday and our children had completed their education, I began praying for guidance about returning to childcare.

My husband supported the idea and allowed me to use part of his office space to establish another centre, which I named Anchor Kiddies Palace. Initially, we catered for children between zero and three years old.

In 2016, some parents encouraged me to upgrade the centre into a proper school. The Ministry of Education granted approval in March 2017, and Anchor Kiddies Palace Montessori School began to develop into what it is today.

I simply enjoy being around children. Even when my own children were young, I was caring for other people’s children. I am grateful that some of those who attended my daycare centre, as well as graduates of the school, have gone on to graduate from universities across Nigeria. Knowing that I contributed to their early development gives me joy.

Did your nursing background influence how you cared for your husband and children?

Yes. I believe my nursing background helped me notice things others might overlook.

In March 2007, I noticed that my husband was unwell and asked him to allow me to examine his chest. He was preparing to attend a professional conference in Abeokuta, but he developed a severe fever on Friday. I advised him not to travel, but he insisted on going.

By Tuesday, he was experiencing chest pain. The doctors eventually discovered a problem in his chest, as I had suspected. When they asked why it had not been noticed earlier, he defended me, explaining that I had raised concerns about his condition.

What principles guided your marriage, and what advice would you give young couples?

I believe in the word of God concerning marriage and family life. The Bible instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to submit to their husbands. I believe both partners have responsibilities and should not make their commitment conditional on whether the other person always meets their expectations.

A husband should love his wife and provide for his family to the best of his ability. As a wife, I chose to submit to my husband and support the life we had decided to build together. By God’s grace, people in church regarded us as an example to younger couples.

I feel sad when weddings become more about elaborate celebrations than the commitment itself. Neither person in a marriage is perfect, but couples who remain committed and work through their challenges have a better chance of building lasting relationships.

The economic situation also makes marriage challenging. Couples should work together, support each other’s ambitions and make practical decisions about the number of children they can care for. A wife who stays at home need not be idle; she can find productive things to do, as I did.

Couples should pray together, support each other and seek God’s guidance. Marriage is not always easy, but commitment, understanding and practical decisions can help them navigate its challenges.

Looking back on your life, what gives you the greatest fulfilment?

I am proud of my children and what they have become. I have always believed that no child should be written off because of academic performance. Children should receive the support they need to improve.

I was also my children’s teacher at home. In the evenings, I went through their schoolwork with them and helped them prepare for examinations because I wanted them to have a good future.

My journey has taught me that difficult beginnings do not have to determine how a person’s life turns out. There were times when I had very little and had to find ways to continue my education and pursue my ambitions. I learnt to work hard, remain determined and make the most of available opportunities.

I have also become more conscious of healthy living, particularly eating fruits and vegetables. I have fasted for many years and stopped taking sugar and coconut. These are personal choices, and I believe we should be intentional about how we live and care for ourselves.

Above all, I thank God for how far He has brought me. Knowing that I have helped lay the foundation for children’s futures and watched them achieve their educational ambitions gives me great joy.