What men don’t get about women

October 26, 2026 — 8:00pm

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SEXISM

In his discussion of the horrifying attack on Helen Haines (“Anthony Albanese must call Angus Taylor stat, and here’s what he must say”, 24/10), columnist Peter Hartcher follows what has already become the standard pattern of commentary on this event, generally setting it in the context of the alarming increase in various forms of violence in Australia.
That discussion covers issues such as the rise of mental illness, the influence of social media and the behaviour of parliamentarians, but ultimately seems to be reduced to a focus on “political violence”.
It’s now evident that there’s a glaring omission from these discussions, including Hartcher’s – the issue of gender.
Put crudely, women who experience violence are overwhelmingly attacked by men.
The attack on Helen Haines was the latest in the terrible increase in male violence against women, and it was also the latest in the increasing attacks on female politicians in Australia.
The major problem threatening this country is not violence in general but the refusal of many commentators (and politicians) to confront the issue of gender.
As former politician Natasha Stott Despoja recently pointed out in the Australian Financial Review (23/10), one of the central problems today is “a profound disconnect from the rising tide of misogyny against women in public life”.
Bev Roberts, Newport

Lesson in respect and consent
In his column, “Hasty reactions to the Helen Haines attack reveal a deeper public rage” (26/10), Sean Kelly reminds us of Nationals leader Matt Canavan’s claim that boys are being driven to interact with toxic masculinity because schools’ curricula are focused on “respectful relationships and consent”.
Perhaps Canavan should acquaint himself with the Gospel of Luke 1: 26-38.
In that passage, an angel appears to Mary telling her of God’s plan and asking for her consent, which she does, but not before questioning the angel as to specifics. If God has the good manners (and respect) to seek consent, then that should be the same for everyone, shouldn’t it?
Judith Taylor, Emerald

Is your speech ‘robust’ or is it intimidating?
Federal opposition and Liberal Party leader Angus Taylor just doesn’t get it when opposing any support for digital regulation.
One (male) person’s view of ″⁣robust″⁣ speech is another (female) person’s perception of language being intimidating, misogynistic and an incitement to violence.
Robyn Westwood, Heidelberg Heights

Anger not only men towards women
Sean Kelly is right that the attack on Helen Haines reveals a deeper public rage (25/10).
It’s not only men towards women. Beneath it sits an everyday rage belonging to all of us forgotten little people.
Forty-five minutes with a chatbot that cannot fix your problem. Ten letters from your university about your wellbeing; a fortnight’s silence about your assignment. A business email to address your issue “within 20 business days”.
These were once the small courtesies of daily life — a person, earning a wage, serving you, talking, creating a human exchange, attending to your problem.
Now, every counter wears a sign warning you not to abuse staff who aren’t permitted to fix anything, and when the chatbot says no, the grievance has nowhere to go but online, where it festers.
One Nation didn’t invent this anger — they repeat it back, louder, and being echoed can feel like finally being heard. Only now, it’s loud, and angry, and frustrated.
Want to lower the temperature? Answer the phone. Put a person behind the counter — and give us all somewhere to practise being civil again. It’s a start.
Catherine Ross, Sandringham

THE FORUM

Keep it real
There has been much commentary regarding the connection between social media and abusive and violent behaviours (Waleed Aly, “After Haines attack” 23/10; Peter Hartcher, “How to save us from ourselves” 24/10; and
Paul Sakkal, “MPs urged to sign civility pledge” 26/10).
The federal government is proposing digital duty of dare legislation applicable to big tech companies. Be bold, and extend this to cover users of social media. All users of social media need to be registered with their real names and contact details, thereby creating a “social licence” for use of social media.
Secondly, when posting content or leaving a comment on any social media platform, only real names, not pseudonyms, are to be used. Both the social licence and use of real names would go some way to limit trolling and threats.
Jenny Vero, Glen Iris

Whose freedom of speech?
I am surprised and disturbed to read of Jess Wilson’s intention to ban the phrase “Globalise the Intifada” (″⁣Coalition will criminalise ‘intifada’ slogan: Wilson″⁣, 26/20).
Why surprised? Because of Wilson’s personal connections with the Institute for Public Affairs, one of whose central tenets is the “protection and expansion of freedom of speech” which oppose inroads against freedom of speech online and in person. What’s not easy is to find a way to actually answering each other’s concerns in civil debate.
Why disturbed? First, because banning speech is an easy but ineffective way to change hate speech because it only gives rise to further outrage. Second, because the current bias in curtailing freedom of speech is only to ban speech opposing solidarity with Palestinian struggles against Israel’s actions in Gaza and the West Bank.
If we are going to ban speech, which I strongly oppose in most cases, then we must also ban the speech equating all Palestinians with Hamas and depicting them all as terrorists.
Amy Bachrach, McKinnon

Speech begets violence
Australian Federal Police Commissioner Krissy Barrett’s drawing of a direct link between inflamed rhetoric and the rise in violent threats should give pause for thought to those who will predictably raise free speech concerns over state Opposition Leader Jess Wilson’s pledge to ban speech that patently amounts to incitement of violence.
VCAT has already found that the chant, “All Zionists are terrorists”, amounts to the
racial and religious vilification of Jewish people.
And it’s disingenuous to suggest that the “globalise the intifada” chant by pro-Palestinian activists only has benign intent. Both intifadas associated with the Palestinian-Israeli conflict involved violence (1987–1993 and 2000-2005). The latter resulted in about 1000 Israeli fatalities from almost 150 suicide attacks.
Geoff Feren, St Kilda East

Netanyahu’s desperation
Seen through the close-up lens of the Israeli election, the military crackdown in Hebron displacing hundreds of Palestinian families and destroying their homes (“Hebron sealed off after attack” 26/10) is a blatant ploy by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to cling to power.
The collective punishment being inflicted on the Hebron community in revenge for the killing of two Israeli soldiers is as opportunistic as it is cruelly disproportionate.
Seen, however, through the wide-angle lens of the past decade and more, the Hebron action is
not exceptional. It is but one more instance of what has become standard practice in the West Bank.
It’s become impossible to distinguish between the violent assaults perpetrated by extremist Israeli settlers and the pervasive oppression engaged in by military and police personnel in the West Bank, all with the open approval of the government.
Netanyahu’s desperate tactic to survive may not succeed, but there’s no realistic prospect of new leadership bringing this policy of collective punishment to an end. Or, of the world doing anything more than watch in silence from afar.
Tom Knowles, Parkville

Ratings are rosy
There are people who will always talk down our economy, especially politicians from “the other side” and the media, but findings by the leading rating agencies, including S&P Global and Moody’s, have upset these critics by reaffirming Australia’s triple-A rating which is a powerful endorsement of the federal government’s economic management at a time of extreme global uncertainty.
Australia remains one of only nine counties with an AAA sovereign credit rating from all three major rating agencies. Come on Australia. Don’t listen to the knockers. Get behind our government which is doing a remarkable job in these testing Trumpian times.
Geoff Cameron, Ballarat

Human needs first
As one-third of Australians go hungry (“For millions, Australia is the hungry country”, 26/10), we should consider why this is occurring in a relatively wealthy country.
We need to redistribute that wealth much more. With more than a few very large companies not paying tax year on year, the resources to end food insecurity in this country are available if we choose to put human needs first.
Max Sargent, Thornbury

In rude health
My experience in the government medical system is second to none. Recently, I underwent an operation and I had no idea that help of all sorts would come flooding in from government medical personnel: doctors, nurses, dietitians and occupational therapists, to name a few.
They all rang and booked appointments to see me and help me. It appears it came from the geriatrician to whom I spoke after the operation.
His discussion with me in the hospital led to all sorts of people visiting and assisting to make my recovery easier.
Prior to this, I had no contact with such people. I even had three nights where one person was sleeping in my room (all on individual occasions) to protect me from falling or slipping out of the bed.
Since returning home, I have had a steady stream of various qualified medical and allied health people checking up and assisting with my ongoing health. It is certainly something worth saluting.
Helen Webster, Eaglemont

It’s a jungle out there
Two seemingly unrelated headlines in The Age caught my attention (26/10). The first was “MPs urged to sign civility pledge”, which is naive to say the least.
Most of us, I hope, strive to be civil to others, and for the most part, we are. Unfortunately, however, some people “snap” when they feel put upon, whether real or imagined. Most calm down. A few do terrible things.
The second was “Aldi ends mandatory bag checks after staff abuse escalates”. Aldi appears to have given up on measures to minimise theft because some customers are just too aggressive when given simple and polite requests.
The underlying theme is that whether it’s in our parliaments or our supermarkets, we are never too far from the jungle.
Al Morris, Doncaster

Social boundaries matter
As a psychiatric doctor, I’m shaken by the attack on Helen Haines. The two main factors I’ve heard discussed are mental illness and a culture of political hostility. Both are extremely important. However, I worry that some may see them as competing explanations, making it harder to learn lessons.
In practice, I see that even profound delusions (fixed, false beliefs, often paranoid) don’t develop in a vacuum. Their content, and how they’re acted on, are shaped by personal experiences and culture around an individual.
Someone’s underlying personality and experiences modify how illness plays out.
Mental illness doesn’t make someone immune to society’s messages about who deserves respect or aggression. People with mental illness are more likely to be victims than perpetrators. However, there is a degree of vulnerability to committing unpredictable violence that those with severe untreated mental illness can have – a rare but shocking risk.
Dehumanising politicians or joking about violence erodes the boundaries we all depend on – including people experiencing severe distress or impaired judgment.
Consciously or subconsciously believing “I would never act on it so it’s not as bad from me” is a trap that continues the degradation of these communal boundaries – boundaries that also matter for people holding extremist views.
When the potential tragedies are so extreme, we all have a responsibility to hold to such social principles firmly. We can argue fiercely, scrutinise and demand accountability while respecting another person’s humanity.
This takes effort but is one of the most important skills we need to encourage.
Dr David Morgan, Ashwood

Neoliberalism returns
The phrase, “I am one of the lucky ones”, strikes a chord when we hear about so many attacks on hospital staff. The neoliberal fanaticism for closing public institutions to “save so that tax can be cut” is a fallacy.
We pay for it in some other way. In this instance, by making hospitals unsafe for staff instead of taking the mental patients to a dedicated institution as Larundal once was. Cutting tax (revenue) leads to cutting some essential services. The various governments have spent so many years “saving” that now all our essential services are shot.
Michael Nolan, Capel Sound

Truly, madly, deeply
Victorians should not feel alone. There are potholes in South Australian roads – but not as many as deep and dangerous.
Richard Sykes, Bell Park

AND ANOTHER THING

State election
Can I suggest the next satnav upgrade show routes with the least potholes? Sunday’s drive in rain was a trial, and I was merely one of the spotters not the driver. The Waze app did its best but couldn’t keep up with the sheer number to warn us of the next hazard.
Deborah Burbidge, Torquay

Jess Wilson says Christmas street parties are free, and Ben Carroll says dogs can enter pubs. I don’t know whom to vote for!
David Cayzer, Clifton Hill

It’s very appropriate that Ben Carroll is electioneering in a red bus as his government goes further into the red.
Tony Tehan, Mansfield

Furthermore
George Brandis’ opinion piece (26/10) surely paints Trump, the self-proclaimed master dealmaker, clearly as Putin’s puppet.
Wilma Pimm, Mentone

Re ″⁣Films are dragging on″⁣ (26/10). Philip Kaufman’s 1983 movie The Right Stuff runs 193 minutes, but I saw it screened with an intermission. I was never more thankful, as the first scenes of the second half vividly showed Sam Shepard dealing with his bursting bladder awaiting his first launch into space.
Peter McGill, Lancefield

Good to see the old Volvo driver trope revival (Letters 26/10) in reference to Tesla drivers. Volvo: the safest car ever to win Bathurst.
Barry Greer, Balnarring

I take umbrage at your correspondent’s criticism of Tesla drivers (26/10). My partner handles hers with skill, dexterity and is courteous to other road users as are the overwhelming number of other Tesla owners I observe on our roads.
Phil Alexander, Eltham

Finally
Yes, if we can choose the society in which we want to live (26/10), let’s begin with respect, tolerance and kindness at home; with our neighbours and rubbish bins, and with strangers who cross our path every day. It costs nothing. The return priceless.
Wendy Brennan, Bendigo

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